There is a part of me that longs to break my promises in this life I have chosen. There are several parts of me that want to run away, to you. And yet, another part of me wonders if I am the biggest fool on earth for even thinking you care about me after all these years. I will never know if you only wish to watch me suffer like this, or if you also feel the burning desire to be together, again. It would serve me right if it is merely amusement for you. I loved you with every ounce of my being, from the very moment we became girlfriend and boyfriend as kids. Perhaps it’s biological. Perhaps women can never really shut off that part of us that longs for our first true loves. I’ve had two or three loves since then, but they were easily wiped out of my mind in time. You have been branded into my soul in a way that I don’t understand. If this was 1998, and I was merely engaged, I could throw everything away that I had at the time. I would take the risk. I would shed myself of everything. She hit the peak of her orgasm and with practised skill stifled the scream that she wanted to let loose. Sandra came to a few moments later, realising with horror that her dress was soaked with her own piss. She smiled and giggled drunkenly and licked her fingers clean, mewling at the bitter taste, laughing as she thought how good the Chablis tasted even second hand.She realised she couldn’t go back to the table. How could she explain the smell, the piss soaked dress? She didn’t even want to try. She wanted to go home. She had had a nice evening but she was drunk and she didn’t want to do something she might regret with Paul. She would text him from the taxi and let him know that she had had an accident and was too embarrassed to come back out to the table, but that she would make it up to him, including the cost of the meal which had not been paid for.She sneaked out of the ladies, out of the back door of the restaurant and jumped into the first taxi at the head of the quiet taxi.
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